Prep.
So! My initial plan in coming off my last prep, wasn't to gain much. And I think for having gone through my first prep to off-season, I did a pretty good job. Today my weight is 118.0 lbs, which is literally only up 10 lbs from prep. I really need to give myself more credit for that, considering that at times my mouth was like a black hole so powerful that I could birth sugar cookie stars from the depths of my neverending mouth (insert laughs from other science geeks). I would like to lose 12-13 lbs this prep, I want to come in leaner than I would have last prep, but we shall see. I don't want to put pressure on myself for a certain amount of pounds, only use weight as a measurement tool.
And luckily, because I have only gained 10 lbs, my diet changes this week aren't huge. I still get plenty of carbs, I can still have higher starch veggies (like squash, etc), and I still get lean red meat a few times a week AND my cardio is still only at 45 mins per day. :) In short, I'm not starving and/or exhausted just yet. I just got back into lifting starting Monday and that definitely felt great, my weights will be light as we don't want to put continued pressure on my back/hip.
16 Week Check In.
Meeting with my prep coach is always so encouraging. Even when I'm feeling really doubtful of myself, or just not quite motivated... Meeting with Jacques always puts things in perspective. I was telling Patrick on Saturday that I was nervous Jacques would tell me I need more time, but he doesn't feel that I do. And actually, he was telling me he almost expects to see people gain 20+ lbs after prep, so seeing me at only +10 lbs is a great starting point. Which is obviously exciting for me.
Other Stuff.
Work is still tiring, but I'm hoping it will be a good distraction from prep. The last few weeks have flown by just because I'm busy at work ALL DAY LONG. I mean, as a secretary I was busy... but not like this. lol! I mean, I have had to set timers for my meal times because I just become so involved with what I'm trying to accomplish I barely pay attention to the time. Alarms on my phone have been a mental-health saver at work. And I'm sure it saves everyone else from having to hear bitchy me come out just because I'm hungry and don't realize it. Also as a secretary, I was able to think about my own life things as I was doing work. Now I think I'm just going to be so busy that I won't even have time to think about the foods I'm craving etc, prep will just happen. No room to overthink this. haha
My Prep Code of Conduct.
I have decided that this prep, I will be different. But first, a plea to my friends and family:
Dear friends and especially family,
Please know, that my choice to do prep and diet down for a bikini competition is my dream and goal. I ask you please, don't make it harder for me than it is. There were times last year when I heard from people "You know that you're not on your diet tonight, right?" and you know who you are. Please know that in saying things like that, you are really telling me that you do not care about me reaching my goal and that you in no way want to help me. Getting together is not about food for me, it is about spending time with you.
However, if you can choose to be supportive I promise to do the following.... And actually, I just promise to do the following:
1. I will not complain about my diet. I recognize the the choice to be on one is my own, and I will not make others suffer even when I feel like I am.
2. I will choose to be happy. I have chosen this road and I will choose to live happy and thankful.
3. I will work hard at every session. Why go through the trouble of prep if I am not going to put in the work when it comes time?
4. I will return all phone calls, just because I am really busy doesn't give me a reason to neglect the people I love.
5. I will obey my prep coach at all times and not grumble.
6. I will not eye chocolates, I will not food porn, I will not nibble, I will not taste. I will, however, find ways to enjoy my prep food. Even if it is enjoying the feeling of being full for 5 minutes.
I just want prep to be easier overall, and I promise I can make it easier for everyone else by not hearing me complain. I know that the bodybuilding lifestyle is hard to understand for those that are not in it. Everytime I talk to my dad and he asks what's up my answer is almost always the same, "Not much, just workin & workin out!" But that's the reality. I spend 2 hours a day in the gym 6 days a week. My family doesn't understand that I genuinely don't see Patrick all that much as I get probably 45 minutes with him in the evening... when we both get home we have chores that cannot be neglected... Building a fire every night takes time. Feeding great danes requires great time (haha!). I leave the house everyday at 430 and don't get home until 530, not to mention time to take a shower, make dinner, pack lunches... don't even get me started on having time to myself. Or shaving for that matter. Ha! But I guess that's also the reality, I think body builders are overachievers by nature. Or OCD. We've just all found some place to focus our OCD and overachieving nature.
Resolution.
I decided to make a non-bodybuilding/fitness resolution. My resolution this year is to de-clutter my house. Anything I don't want, goes. Anything I'm iffy about, goes. Anything I'm holding onto just because, goes. I'm not going to keep a butter dish around if we NEVER eat butter. I'm not keeping large chip & dip tupperwares around if we NEVER use them. Nuff said.
Anyway, I hope I can make you all proud this time around and get up on that stage. I'm ready. I'm ready to finally meet a goal I set for myself.
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| Those dirty lying slut voices. Shame on them for being lying sluts, they could at least be honest sluts. |
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